Writing Tips: Sex and the Author

A question on the minds of many fiction authors these days is: how graphic can or should you get when it comes to writing sex scenes?

I’m not talking about writing novels that are considered erotica or porn–that’s a whole other discussion. I’m talking when it comes to writing mainstream, commercial, pop, chick, sister-girl and women’s lit. Even bestselling mystery authors are getting more vivid when it comes to depicting sex scenes: check out mega bestseller Nora Roberts writing as J.D. Robb for some fairly hot sex scenes as an example.

No doubt readers these days are tolerant of–and sometimes expect–more graphic and frequent sex scenes in their novels, even readers who expect rich and deep plots and characters. This is a reflection of the popular culture in general. Books are competing with cable television, music, movies and video games, and gone are the days when hinting at what goes on between a couple under the sheets or after the lights go out is enough to set a reader to blushing. Toss those sheets aside, we say! Turn on all the lights!

But how much is too much? When and where should an author draw the line to avoid being labeled as porn? I think that is entirely up to the author and depends mainly on two things: (1) the story the author is telling and (2) what the author is comfortable with.

Readers these days are sophisticated enough to welcome a variety of writing styles when it comes to the sex—from well-written and engaging tales told with little or no sex to those with a few erotic sex scenes sprinkled throughout. As long as the sex fits the plot and characters and as long as the vulgarity is kept to a minimum, an author can safely stay within the confines of what is considered “mainstream” today.

And above all, the author should be at ease with whatever he or she writes. If not, readers will sense it. I remember when I wrote my first novel, Sisters and Lovers. The sex scenes back then were generally a lot more tepid than they often are now, and I decided I wasn’t going to write anything I wouldn’t want my Mama reading ’cause I wouldn’t have been comfortable with that. I’ve evolved since then—as has society—and in the sequel to Sisters and Lovers, which I’m working on now, the love scenes will be a bit steamier. Still, there is a line I won’t cross.

As to what is considered crossing the line, try not to get vulgar or gross (which according to the American Heritage Dictionary is defined as crude, offensive, unmitigated in any way). Admittedly what is considered gross can be subjective, and the dividing line is probably constantly shifting. However, I do think that an author can reach a point at which no doubt is left in the minds of most adults that what they’re reading is pure erotica or porn.

If as an author you’re still unsure, then my advice would be to read a mainstream novel that has a few steamy sex scenes in it and then read an erotica novel that has a plot (or not) woven around the sex. There is a difference. And if you want to stay on the safe side of mainstream, focus on writing a well-crafted novel that will leave the reader thinking that Rhonda finally came to her senses and kicked that no-good man to the curb rather than leave the reader remembering how fast and wide Rhonda spread her legs.

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